Trust and Surrender – A Two-Sided Coin

We cannot surrender without trust, and trust only comes when we surrender. A wonderful woman from my church group in Canada lovingly reminded me of this. She has cancer. Yes, I gave my life to God. Surrendered! That was many years ago. But sometimes, you must surrender things, desires, and plans again. Things we create ourselves, situations we deeply want to see in our lives and think they are from Him. It's always about seeking God's ways and following them. Not following our own ideas of how things should be. Today, I started writing my third book. Trust Me! It's about the challenge of holding onto God's promises and being able to trust Him 100%, no matter how crazy the situation seems. A journey about hope, love, and trust into the depths of human stories of hate, narcissism, and shame.

It begins in September 2023, in Syria:

My heart clenches. The air in my lungs can't escape. The small, dark-haired bundle in front of me lies in the fetal position on the stone street. The noise around me fades away. The dirt on the face of the maybe 5-year-old suggests he's been homeless for a long time. People in Syria are used to these sights and hurry past. Midnight in Damascus. I, too, am familiar with the sight of orphans living on streets, paths, and squares, but there's something different about this boy. The image of this child lying asleep in the dirt won't let me go. In the distance, I hear the foreign language around me, but I don't care. This little being has captivated me. His chest rises and falls with his breath. I stop and look at him. What's his story? How I'd love to take him with me. An imaginary sword pierces my heart. It twists in the despair of knowing I can't take him. Can't give him a home, can't change his life, can't make a difference. My stomach twists, similar to the posture of the boy in front of me. His clothes are dirty and covered in stains. Is it blood? His feet are in shoes with holes. Nothing about this being seems whole. His visible arms are thin, no, emaciated. My soul connects with his. A pain forms in my soul. Is it his? Is it God's? Or mine? An abyss opens up within me. The black hole of despair, fear, hopelessness, and hate.

My church group friend has surrendered her situation to God. By being willing to die if that's what happens. It doesn't matter what! ...and I, too, have surrendered again and am very surprised by what and how God is doing! It doesn't matter what...